LYRICS DERIVED EXCLUSIVELY FROM EMAILS BY ELIZABETH HOPE. Dear Poppets, please note there will be no meal service
 Be your usual charming and helpful selves 
Over the break, check to make sure you’re not followed 
Do not attempt to put fires out yourself! At some point today, the internet will go down
 Here are your events and menu, sorry I’m late
 After high table, remember to hang up your gown
 Found it open last night, please shut, please shut the gate Don’t forget to come for the college photo today
 Please be sure to hang your gown up neatly (PLEASE)
 So Oris can start to put the extras away 
As you can probably guess, gowns are my pet peeve Just a head’s up: construction workers will be here Daily, weather permitting, for the next six weeks Erecting TPZs. Please give them ample space In whatever area they are working in. At some point today, the internet will go down 
Here are your events and menu, sorry I’m late 
After high table, remember to hang up your gown
 Found it open last night, please shut the gate Found today: one lonely Canada red mitten 
Ladies yellow metal ring with a pale pink stone 
Please come and collect your vending machine peanuts
 A lovely pashmina, for the ladies only Please do not leave the stove unattended
 Make sure it's off when you're finished cooking
 Do not put flammable items on the stove
 Thanks for birthday bingo P.S. I’m not sharing At some point today, the internet will go down Here are your events and menu, sorry I’m late After high table, remember to hang up your gown Found it open last night, please shut the gate

If you look-in that place where they read-out the grace in a hall dedicated to knowledge, a clever-eye would spy, looking down from on high, the old bust of the king of the college. For an odd twenty years and the drinking of beers his likeness was always safeguarded, until with-a cocktail and two sheets to-the gale the king’s statue a fellow discarded! C: T’was a night in November, and I pray you remember, the arrogant stride that broke Massey’s pride.
Any alumnus will tell you, get too drunk in this venue,
and your running mismanaged will get property damaged. When the statue was bought of that rocking hot shot from a small store in Cabbagetown proper, the shop owner did ask of the co-chair on task
if the party would be a sock-hopper. It was later that night, with the first-fellow fight
that the new bust was made a tradition. Should a fissure be cleft, it could only be theft that would settle the house competition! It was further decreed that all parties would need,
for the sake of amusement and laughter,
his light bust to be bore to three rooms on a floor as a chance for his highness’s capture. So the kingly façade was paraded roughshod
at the zenith of every Low Table, And the members most brave of each college enclave could snatch the king if they were able! T’was a night in November, and I pray you remember, the arrogant stride that broke Massey’s pride.
Any alumnus will tell you, get too drunk in this venue,
and your running mismanaged will get property damaged. But committee surplus and volunteer service,
cannot really be stopped or disputed. For at Massey we say “From tradition, don’t stray”
even if half those habits are stupid. So the co-chairs set out with their minds full of doubt,
if folks could still buy busts especially.
But with face out of square and his wavy black hair, they soon found us a new Elvis Presley. EC: So we’ll dance and we’ll sing, and we’ll tell of that king who sailed through the hallways and haunts them now always. And although he’s in pieces, his voice never ceases
to teach us of patience, and courteous relations.